Miami Historic Hotel Buyer

An investment banker friend from Hollywood, CA asked me to find a historic hotel in Miami for one of his clients.   Summer is the slow season for Palm Beach real estate and this was a great excuse to spend a weekend on South Beach.  After an afternoon of hunting on Loopnet, I found several that were on the National Historic Register.  

Off to South Beach (a.k.a. SoBe).

The first property was a beautiful mansion that was converted to a hotel on Collins Ave, a block east of the beach.   The Realtor said it was OK to show and I was cleared with the front desk to see all the vacant rooms.

I got to the hotel and the iron entry gate on Collins Ave was locked.  I saw a maid cleaning outside and she came over to let me in.  She didn’t speak English too well and I was trying to find out where the front desk was located because it wasn’t obvious.  This was a mansion, not your typical hotel layout.

South Beach Mansion / Hotel

The maid pointed to the brown door in the photo.  I checked out the pool and eventually made my way to front desk…or so I thought.

When I opened the door, I was quite shocked to see a couple in bed.  OMG!!!!  I ran out the door.  

I never found the front desk… that’s all I needed to see.   The rooms looked really nice.

German Shepherd Protects Owners

During the great market crash of 2010, I was looking to buy a pre-foreclosure waterfront home in North Palm Beach, Florida.   I met the Palm Beach Realtor at the house he knocked on the door prior to entering.

 

A German Shepard was on the other side barking really loud and he sounded viscous.   I love dogs, but this one was seriously mad.  The agent kept screaming the dog’s name and telling him to “go to his room.”   After about 5 minutes of screaming and barking it got quiet and Realtor said it was OK to go in. 

When we got to the master bedroom, the agent walked in and came back out quickly.  He said it was OK to look at the master, “just do it quietly because the tenants are asleep.”   No joke, there was a couple in bed that didn’t wake up from all the noise.   He said they party a lot and didn't seem surprised.   Really?

I Like You.... BUTT

I was showing a $4M+ home on the island of Palm Beach and arrived a few minutes before my buyer.  The seller was a Palm Beach Realtor that I knew quite well.  

We walked to the backyard and I saw this huge animal the size of a horse playing with a few stuffed toys.   I had no idea what it was, and just as I started to ask, this huge Mastiff came running at me full speed.  The owner tried to call him off, but it didn’t work.

 

The dog thought my butt was one of his toys and latched onto my right cheek.  I knew he was only playing, butt he locked on tight and was growling and drooling all over me.  The owner ran for one of his toys because he knew that was the only way to get him off me.  When he finally let go we had a good laugh and he offered to buy me new pants.

Before the owner had a chance to put the dog away, my customer walked in the backyard and the dog started running towards him.  My client started screaming like a girl and ran out the front door.  

I Want the Bloopers!

Our CEO received a call from the producer of HGTV and he was looking for a Palm Beach Realtor for a new TV show called Live Here, Buy This.   He gave them my name and I had a blast shooting with a very fun crew for three days.  My co-host was Shantelle.

In one scene, they had me drive down the street with the top down and we were supposed to be talking about the house as we pulled in the driveway.   My car was a very low convertible Mercedes.

Take 1:  Shantelle couldn’t get up and out of my car.  In her defense, it was a very difficult car to get out of.

Take 2:  I was supposed to open her car door, take hand and pull her out of the car.   Instead, she decided to mess with me and pulled me on top of her!   The crew cracked up.

Take 3:  We finally got it right.

After all this work, they cut this scene from the final episode!

Let's Crack One!

During the market crash in 2010, I was selling foreclosures for Wells Fargo and doing quite a few short sales in the Palm Beach area.  I had a team of three agents and our job was all about volume, not price.

I listed a short sale in West Palm Beach, and my licensed assistant Cecilia, was supposed to show it one afternoon.   I don’t recall exactly what she said to me, but I decided to go in her place.

It was a hot summer day and I was waiting inside the house for the buyer to show up.  I heard a knock at the door, but there was no car in the driveway.   I opened the door to find a very sketchy latino guy completely soaked with sweat.  He immediately said “where’s Cecilia.”   I paused and could feel my blood start to boil.  I was thinking what if this was Cecilia at the door.  I replied “I’m Cecilia, can I help you… and by the way, where’s your car?”   He replied, “it’s down the street.”  I walked outside and I could feel my anger growing as we talked.   I was really looking him over for a gun or knife.   

I decided to let him in the house to see what his game was all about.  I always stayed behind him as we walked down hallways and I waited by the door of each bedroom.  I found it odd that he immediately went to the window in each room and nervously looked around outside.   At one point I asked, “are you looking for someone” and he replied “no.”  I played with my phone and turned it on video mode.  I shot a really good video of him because I could feel trouble brewing.

He went to the same area of the kitchen three different times and was staring into the side of the cabinet.   There was a butcher block table in the center of the kitchen and I kept my distance on the other side of it.

I realized there was a block of knives on the counter directly in front of him.   It was apparent this guy was considering pulling a knife on me!  

Luckily, the owner had an antique metal wine opener sitting on the butcher block table in front of me.  I wrapped my hand around the wine opener and waited for him to make a move.

We locked eyes on the third kitchen visit and there was a long silent pause as we stared at each other.   I finally broke the silence and said “it’s time for you to leave” and he replied “yes, you’re right."  He walked out the door. 

I can’t imagine what could have happened to Cecilia if she showed this house.  When I showed her the video, that marked the end of her Palm Beach real estate career and she took over the paper side of my business.